what's in a name?

My kids were in the car with my parents the other day practicing singing "Jingle Bells" for their Christmas concerts.  My dad asked if they new all the reindeer names.

So, they listed off...

Dasher.

Dancer.

Prancer.

Vixen.

Comet.

Cupid.

Donner.

Rudolph.

And...um...um...what was the last reindeers name??

The car was filled with silence until Big yelled out, "OLIVE!!"

My dad asked, "Olive?  Who's Olive?"

Big replied, "You know, Olive, the other reindeer!!"


That kid cracks me up :)

Chip-Chip-Churray!

When people ask me what my favorite memory of Christmas is, I always say Santa!  I remember Santa leaving boots behind in the fireplace.  And reindeer footprints in the yard.  And pieces of Santas beard left on fireplace grates.  I never once saw Santa, but I knew he'd been there.  And Rudolph, too!  He always ate the carrots we left behind and I'm willing to bet he shared some of them with his reindeer friends...Rudolph's cool like that!

But, what I didn't have as a kid, was an Elf!  Apparently, Santa has just started lending out Elves recently and only some kids these days are lucky enough to reap the rewards.  Some Elves are naughty and play tricks on the kids they're watching over.  Other Elves bring treats and toys and sometimes even messages from Santa!

Last year, my kids were lucky enough to be sent Boppy Doodlebop.  Boppy watched over the kids every day and made sure they behaved like good boys.  Boppy quickly became a fifth family member and the boys absolutely adored him.He brought books almost every day from the North Pole...except for the day Santa didn't send him back because the boys were very bad.

This year, the kids were a little sad when Chippy arrived instead of Boppy.  I'm not sure what happened to Boppy but obviously Santa wanted to send them a bigger, happier looking elf this year.  I've tried to explain to the boys that Boppy has either retired, or he did such a good job with them last year, that he's moved on to mentoring those aforementioned naughty elves to help them become better elves.

But, alas, Boppy is still highly missed around these here parts...Small even went as far as asking Santa for a book about Boppy Doodlebop for Christmas because he wants "to figure out how the elves go home by magic!"

Any idea where I could find a book like that?  You know, just in case Santa forgets :)

Although we still think (and talk) a lot about Boppy, Santa has been gracious enough to send us a new elf this year.  We've named him Chippy and he's a delightful little fella!  He sends the kids books almost every day still.  But, he's even sent the kids candy and treats!  As long as Small brushes his teeth!!  At least, that's what the letter from Santa said!  So far, Small has been a teeth brushing star and Santa has kept his word by continuing to send him candy!  Three cheers for Santa!

Every morning, I'm woken up to sounds of, "Where's Chippy??"  "Have you found Chippy yet?"  "Look!  There's Chippy!!  Chippy, you're so funny!!  You can't fish in the fish tank!" "Chippy's snoozing in my pirate ship!!"  "Chippy!  You silly elf!  You're not supposed to put your head in the chocolate chips bucket!"  Chippy has been busy around our house landing in all sorts of adventurous spots!  You'd think his GPS was all messed up or something by the completely random places he's deciding to land in.  But I guess that's part of the adventure and part of what makes Chippy so fun to have around!

Some days I wish Santa had sent me an elf when I was a kid.  I'm sure I'd have talked to him and shared my dinner with him and mad sure he shared my blanket while watching TV with me...just like my boys do!   Other days, though, I realize just how special these two little elves are!  They have given me a whole new memory of Christmas that is purely from my boys!

Sure, I love Christmas and everything that goes along with it.  But, seeing the joy on my kids faces when they find their elf and watching them say thank you to their elf for the treats they bring and all the messages and cookies they send to Santa through him is definitely the highlight of Christmas for me now!  How lucky am I to have such a variety of cool Christmas memories!

Boppy! We miss you!!  We hope you're enjoying your retirement or your new family or your rest before   the rush on Christmas Eve or ....???

Chippy!  We love you!  Thanks for always bringing smiles to my kids faces!  We'll miss you when you're gone after Christmas!

Santa!  I'm still holding out hope that you'll send me a new elf each month of the year so my kids behave as well as they do in December!  I know I asked you last year but I promise to be even better this year!  Come on...you know you wanna :)

First Love?? So Soon??

Big came home the other day with this book of pictures.  There was a girl's name on the book and the pictures were all drawn with mostly pink marker.  I looked through it and instantly thought he'd taken the wrong book home.  There was NO WAY Big would make anything with PINK MARKER!!  So I put it in his bag to send back to school the next day.

For some reason, though, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking of that book...There was a heart on the front page...and every picture had two people in it...and the second person ALWAYS had green glasses!!  The person was mostly pink...with the exception of the green glasses!

And I thought, "HOLD THE PHONE!!!  Could this be his first love letter????  WHAT???  IN KINDERGARTEN????  

WHAT???"

So first thing in the morning, I showed it to Big and asked him where he got it.  He said a girl at school gave it to him.  I asked him if she made it at school or at home.  

He sheepishly hung his head and said, "At home...she said she thinks she's falling in love with me...Ohhhh, man!"

I ALMOST FELL OVER!!!!  

WHAT??????  FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM????  IN KINDERGARTEN?????  

WHAT?????

I kept my cool, though and asked him if he thanked her for the book....I mean, what else are you supposed to say to that??

Anyhow, I am TOTALLY in love with the pictures.  The little girl obviously put a lot of thought into them.  I'm totally keeping it for their wedding day :)  

Here's some of the highlights:

Wedding cake perhaps??

She even drew them riding bikes...I think?

 

I mean, honestly??  This chick's a total keeper!!!

Radio killed the Censorship star!

I'm sure our parents were horrified by the words used in music when we were younger, too but I've just gotta say that hearing, "I'm Sexy and I know it" coming from my 3 and 5 year olds is not my idea of a good time!

Top that with "Can you blow my whistle, baby?  I'll show you how to do it, and we start real slow?"  I totally had NO IDEA what that song was implying until I heard my kids singing it at the dinner table.

So I started downloading songs that I thought were pretty benign from itunes.  I chose Maroon 5's Payphone.  The kids sing along to it in the car so it must be pretty harmless at dinner....until I realized I downloaded the non-radio version and it was chockablock full of F this and F that!

But even the radio versions aren't safe.  Sure they're "censored" but what does that really mean?  You've got Nicki Minaj singing about Starships being "higher than a Mother Bleep-er!"  I'm sorry but that doesn't leave much to the imagination right there!  Especially when you're 5 year old is trying to sing along and asks, "Mommy what's a Mother Bleep-er?"  Literally...he said, "Mother Bleep-er!"

And then you've got Pink talking about having a SHhhT Day.  She says SHhhT Day 3 times in a row!  Obviously, they're going to wonder what a SHhhT day is.  Thankfully, though...the radio censor gods completely bleeped out the whisky D$CK line.  I don't know about you...but I'd have an easier time coming up with some kid friendly explanation of what a whisky d$ck is over what a SHhht day is.

Now, if they'd just completely bleeped out those vulgur words, we wouldn't be having this problem.  But in the great big scheme of things, bleeping out just the vowels is really just drawing attention to the bad words so that my 5 year old is left to wonder what's so special about that word???

Awesome!!

So, since I've been left to think quickly on my feet numerous times in a desperate attempt to preserve my kid's innocence over all things nasty on the radio, I've decided to put together a handy Quickipedia (for when you need a definition QUICK!!)  to help in similar awkward moments.

Note: These are all true stories...and yes, I made up the term Quickipedia!  I'm crafty like that :)



I'm sexy and I know it....means that you are really proud of yourself.

SHhht day...actually stands for Shoot day, which is when you stub your toe a lot and say, "SHOOT!"

Higher than a Mother Bleep-er!... refers to R2D2's mom being hoisted up in the sky.

I've got a passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it...is a special flavor of yogurt tube and he's not worried that his friend is going to steal it from him!


Come on, play along!  Have you got any to add???

Awestruck!

Somedays I look at my kids and think, "Man!  How did you grow up so quickly?"

Take Big for instance...

Last year, I lost many nights sleep trying to decide if he should start kindergarten or not.  He has a late birthday so we could have easily gone either way.  When the registration due date came and went and I still hadn't dropped off the 10 or so forms that I'd agonized over filling out, I realized I'd already made the decision.

He would have been fine last year.  He would have had some adjustments to make.  He would have clung to me for a few weeks and then got over it and probably would have been happy at school eventually.  But, he would have most likely been the youngest in the class...forever...and that would have sucked when he was older.

So we held him back...and as it turns out...I'm so glad we did!!

Because this year when he started kindergarten, he was so ready for it that he really didn't need much of an adjustment period.  He was a little nervous on the first day but ever since then, he literally runs into the car to go to school and he barely even acknowledges my existence as I yell, "Bye, buddy!  I love you!!" over and over again in the hopes that he may still need a hug before starting his day.  Most days, he doesn't.  I keep reminding myself that that's a good thing :)

But what really blows my mind about that kid is that he's also started a new daycare and didn't know any of the teachers or kids before his first day there.  I was nervous about how that was going to go.  Not because I was worried that he wouldn't make friends...man!  That kid makes friends no problem!  But I was worried that he wouldn't like it or would be nervous or scared or would maybe have too many new things going on and it would be overwhelming for his 5 year old self.

Turns out, it was only overwhelming for his mommy!!  He didn't even have a regular routine for the first month...one day, he'd be at daycare, the next day he'd be at his friends place, the next day I'd be dropping him off...the kid was all over the place!  And yet, he'd just ask me in the morning, "Where am I going today?" and would take the whole thing in stride with a giant smile on his face and only so much as wave at me as he went on to his next adventure.

I don't know what happened to my mildly anxious kid but I sure am in awe of how mature and well adjusted he's become!

And then there's his brother...that kid has wanted to do everything himself..correction, his own way...since he was born!  He's never had any anxiety issues and rarely clung to me out of fear of trying new things.

He just started a new program the other day that was in a completely unfamiliar area and with kids and teachers he'd never seen before.  He strolled in, picked up a toy, said to the kid next to him, "Hi!  My name is <Small>.  What's your name?", and didn't even look at me when I said Bye a couple hundred times.

I sat outside the class for the whole two hours anyway...I'm not sure why.  The kid has never once ran out of a program like that screaming.  I guess I just wanted to make sure I was there in case there was ever a first time.

They say that letting go of your children is the hardest thing to do as a parent.  While I realize my kids have a lot of growing up still to do, I am amazed that they are already starting to leave me behind.

I'm so proud of them and the amazing people they are becoming...I just wish they would hurry up and slow down this growing up thing :)  They are still my babies after all :)

I love stories like this...

Don't get me wrong...I know my kid is awesome!  But, it never hurts to have a reminder now and then :)

So, I ran into another mom from Big's old daycare the other day.  He recently left that daycare because it doesn't service his new school.  He had to start a new one (which he's so far loving) but he has been at the old one for so long, that I was surprised when he never looked back.  I think he was ready for a change.

Anyhow, the mom told me how her daughter doesn't like daycare very much.  I have seen her daughter.  She cries A LOT!!!

And then she told me how Big was always very kind to her daughter.  She said that Big was always the first one to go over to her when she cried and ask if she was ok.  He'd read her stories and give her hugs to calm her down and make her feel better.

Honestly?  That just warms my heart!  He has NEVER ONCE mentioned this girl!  NOT ONCE!!!  Nor has he ever mentioned playing or talking to any girls.  In fact, he's often gone out of his way to tell me that he doesn't play with girls.  So the fact that he would be so kind and thoughtful to her just shows what a truly amazing kid he is!

<sigh>  I'm sure a lucky mom :)

Every chance I get...

I hold his hand because it may be the last time he thinks it's cool to be seen in public with his Mommy!

Every chance I get,
I watch him dance because it may be the last time he doesn't care that people are watching him!

Every chance I get,
I hug him because it may be the last time he doesn't bowl me over with his massive size and strength!

Every chance I get,
I kiss his owies because it may be the last time he thinks Mommy can heal all wounds!

Every chance I get,
I marvel at how grown up and mature he is because soon he won't be my little boy anymore!

Every chance I get,
I remind him he's an awesome kid because he will always be my amazing little boy...no matter how big he gets!

Every chance I get,
I tell him I love him...just because :)

Stop growing up, kid!! 

A reminder that time flies...

My kids have gotten a lot better at playing together these days.  Small still doesn't back off much when Big tells him to leave him alone but Big has gotten a lot better at being patient with him.  Big starts Kindergarten in Sept and I've been trying to teach him how to solve problems himself so he is better prepared for school.  Most of the time, it turns into a disaster and I usually have to step in.  But, now and then, he shows signs of huge amounts of maturity that makes me realize he's growing up quickly and I better hang on to every memory I can!

The other day, him and Small were fighting over the one cereal bowl we have with a straw.  We normally take turns with it in the mornings but that day, I'd completely forgotten who's turn it was.  Big got it first but Small insisted it was his day.  Small isn't the best at remembering stuff that's not in his favor so his word wasn't much reassurance.

Well, the wailing and screaming got worse and the punches were about ready to start.  So I told them that they better find a way to solve the problem or neither of them would get it.

I fully expected World War III to start...as it normally does...but this particular day, Big stopped himself mid cry, wiped his eyes and gave the bowl to Small.  He said, "Mommy, Small can have it first and then I'll have it when he's done his breakfast."

Small responded with, "Me eat my breakfast fast so you can have it sooner!"

At which point, I almost fell off my chair!

It just goes to show you how quickly these kids grow up.  I have to remind myself of that often so that I cherish all the time I have with them now while they want to hang out with me still :)

Speaking of which...Big wants me to help him build some Lego!!  I better get on that :)

Call of the Wild!

A few years ago, we took the kids camping on the island.  Small was only 1 1/2 and was into EVERYTHING!  His favorite thing was the campfire!  It totally freaked us out.  Then it PISSED RAIN all night...to the point where we had rivers running through our tent...and well, long story short, we ended up in a B&B for the last night.  It turned out to be a really fun trip but to say we've taken the kids camping is a bit of an exaggeration :)

So this year, we were invited by some friends to give camping another shot.  I knew it was going to be awesome and that the kids would be in heaven.  They're both outdoor kids and are happiest when they can run free outside.

We just got back this morning and apart from literally being attacked by swarms of mosquitoes, the trip was awesome!  Small got the brunt of the mosquito bites so I tried to stay close to him to distract the mosquitoes from me...does that make me a bad mommy??? :)

The trip up there was a long trip, though.  It was about a 9 hour commute.  Thankfully, the kids were rock stars!  We stopped a lot along the way (making for the long commute) but we didn't have to deal with too much whining.  I put together some travel bags for each kid.  I made up binders with "I spy" games and learn to draw sheets and playdough mats, etc.  I also gave them each a mini whiteboard (which was a huge hit!) and some coloring / work books.  They also had some small activities that entertained them for a few minutes.  I also gave them "CAR BUCKS" every 20 minutes for good behaviour that they could trade in at the "snack shop".  They loved them and just the threat of them being taken away for whining was enough to keep them happy :)

But, the biggest hit by far, was the little ziploc bag of toys that they each filled.  Big chose a small pile of LEGO that I still can't believe how much time he spent playing with!  And Small chose his little firemen and dinosaurs and an odd assortment of little things.  He played with those pretty much the entire time in the car.  It just goes to show you that kids know better than us how to keep entertained :)

Anyhow, apart from all that, we really just hung out at the campsite riding bikes and swimming in the lake.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves :)

Running from the mosquitoes?

The dandelions there were GIANT!  They didn't blow as nicely as the little one's but I still think it makes for a fun picture :)  Notice the little Pocahontas feather that he insisted on having in his helmet?

Think they're having fun?

Nothing better than two brothers that love each other :)

They built their own lap pool:)

Those are some hungry mosquitoes!!!

An aDORAble 3 1/2 birthday!

Well, in true summer spirit, we just celebrated Small's 3 1/2 birthday.  It was a super fun day and the sun even peeked through the clouds to check out the excitement!

What would a Dora party be without a Dora cake??

and some explorer stars!  I even made a couple with glasses...you know, all about inclusion :)

I made up a map and created a little adventure for the kids.  Swyper swiped the birthday candles so they had to go to three separate locations in order to get the candles back.  At dinosaur cove, they used magnifying glasses to find dinosaurs.  At Jelly Bean Junction, they did a blind taste test of jelly beans to see if they could identify the flavors.  And at Puzzle Place, they put together a puzzle.  That part bombed big time!!  But the rest was awesome :)

Every kid got a backpack.  This picture kinda sucks but I actually cracked open the sewing machine and made them all. All the things they needed for the adventure were found in their backpacks.  Plus a few extra treats :)

The night before, Small was crying before bed.  I finally calmed him down by telling him there would be balloons at his party tomorrow.  He said, "Swyper balloons??"  Ugh!  So there I was at 9:30 at night on the eve of the party, printing off Dora pictures for the balloons!  I hope he knows I love him :)

He told me his favorite part of his birthday was his Dora cake.  I kinda think it was awesome as well :)

Fun times!!!

We also had a bouncy castle and a water park and a playground to entertain the kids.  It was a lot of work to put together but it was totally fun and I think the kids had a great time!  It was Small's first official birthday of his own with his own friends and I think it was a hit :)

Love you, little man!

Are you smarter than a 5 year old???

I started buying my kids books before I even had kids.  I know, it's ridiculous!  But, you can never have too many books, right??

Ugh...yeah, you can!  You should see my closets!!

So I started putting new books into this bucket and when I was desperate to get the kids to listen to me or if I thought the kids deserved a treat, I'd let them pull a new book out of the bucket.  They ate it up!  They beg me constantly for books out of the bucket!  I only let them take a new one every few weeks or so....you've gotta keep it special :)

But it started getting expensive!  Buying all those books to keep that bucket full!!

So I got smart....

I started pulling the books from the bottom of their book piles in their rooms...you know, the one's they haven't looked at or read in ages...and I put those in the bucket!  Recycling at it's best, my friends!!

So far, they haven't once mentioned that they recognize that book or have heard this story before!!

They also haven't questioned why sometimes it takes us 5 minutes to drive home from the park and other days it takes us an hour (the days I'm trying to get Small to fall asleep in the car :)

Just gotta stay one step ahead of the smartest kid.....

Summer lovin'....

I hate to jinx it this early in the summer but so far, my summer is rocking!!  I created this bucket list of things to do over the summer.  After I completely overdid it the first week with the kids trying to cross things off left, right and center, I decided I needed to stick to one big trip a week.  There's no chance I'll finish the bucket list but it gives us some ideas when we're stuck trying to think of things to do in the morning.

Anyhow, that's not the point of this post.  The point of this post is to give a shout out to my awesome little boys.  They drove me freaking mental for a good part of the year.  They fought like cats and dogs and at least every 30 seconds I was breaking up some fight or mediating an argument or some stupid disaster between them.  To say it drove me bat@(* crazy, is an understatement!

But somehow, now that the sun is out and we don't have many deadlines to meet, the kids are happy to sit and play with each other....for hours!!  Like 3 hours at a time sometimes!  I know, right???  I mean, I literally don't need to intervene for LIKE THREE WHOLE HOURS!!!!!!

That's a far cry from the 30 seconds a few months ago!

I think a major part of it is that Small has stopped growing.  My kids grow, they turn into monsters.  Add in the inability to control his emotions and Small is unbearable!  But, he must have grown up a little the last month or so.  He doesn't turn into a crying mess when I turn off the TV anymore.  In fact, he turns it off for me!!  He has figured out the value of sharing his toys with his brother and playing nicely.

It's a little slice of heaven in my world :)  Just to see the boys playing happily together and enjoying each other's company makes that disaster of a second pregnancy so worth it :)

Small's sure going to miss his brother in Sept when he's in Kindergarten!!  Although, I'm sure I'll miss him, too:)

5 1/2 already?? Where does the time go??

By now, if you've been following my blog at all, you know that we celebrate half birthdays in this house.  Mainly it's so that Big can have a fun party with his friends without the hustle and bustle of Christmas time.  It works out great for us, too, because it means we don't need to host oodles of kids in our house!  We always have outside parties for the kids half birthdays in the summer and so far we've been very lucky with the weather!

This summer, Big wanted to combine pretty much every. single. thing he loves into one giant party.  We invited 14 of his closest friends and had a Lego/Star Wars/Ninjago party at the bike track.  Most of the kids hadn't been to the track before so I was a little nervous.  But luckily, just about all of the kids loved it!!  We've even recruited a few of them to race night :)

Here's some pictures of the extravaganza:

Green Ninja Cookies

Lego Rice Krispie Squares

Green Ninja cake

Storm Trooper sandwiches (Seriously!!)

This is a ridiculous storm trooper cheese ball!

Light sabers!  These were a total pain in the rear to make but the kids loved them!  I was surprised!

I just think he's cute :)

Lego drink boxes

Ninja water bottles (I got the printouts off the internet...can't remember which site)

Ninja balloons (all of which popped or floated away before the end of the party...oops!)

Lego pizza

I spy the Lego guy game :)

Dog tags for each kid.  I got these off the internet.  Again, can't remember the site.  But I printed them and laminated them.  I also got stickers from the same website that say "Property of".  I thought they'd be good for the kids going to school/daycare.  

The candles kept blowing out in the wind :)

There were a few other things I put together for the party but these are all I took pictures of.  I made little lego head plates that I thought were totally fun but when i asked Big after if he liked the plates, he said "What plates?"  He totally didn't notice.  My friend asked him today what his favorite part of the party was and he said, "biking on the track!"  When she asked him if he liked the cookies and the cakes and all the other stuff I made for his party, he said, "no, I just liked the biking part!"

<sigh>  The good thing is, I like doing that kind of stuff :)  And one day, he'll look back on all these parties I gave him and think, "Wow!  My mom's awesome!"  

He will think that one day, right??? :)

Terrible Two's?? You haven't met my three year old!

Wow!  Three year olds!  What crazy person allowed kids to turn three?  I mean, seriously!  What were "they" thinking?

My three year old is a mess!

Literally.

Like 75% of the time!

He crumbles into a heaping pile of mush at even the hint of him not getting his way.  I don't even have to say no anymore...and god help us all if I even think the "N" word let alone say it!!

The kid turns from this super sweet, extremely adorable, cuddle monster who slathers us in sloppy kisses to Godzilla meets the Terminator in T minus 1.5 seconds!!  Anything in his way may suffer the wrath of his fury!  The other day, he threw a giant rubbermaid bin across the living room!!

What is with that????  Ugh!!  Let it end!!  The sooner, the better!!

It's a beautiful thing...

Small reached a milestone today!!  He's been itching for a milestone ever since he got his last tooth.  So today's the day!

Today....

He reached the minimum height to get into the IKEA play area!!!!

And oh, baby!  Is that ever a beautiful thing!!!

I got to wander aimlessly through the store while the kids played to their hearts content.  I just tried to ignore the ball pit that grosses me out to no end.

The only thing missing was a latte in hand.

Speaking of which...why haven't Starbucks and IKEA hooked up yet?  That's like a match made in heaven!

Now that makes Cents!

My kids are constantly asking me to get them this and they want that and can you buy me this, too, mommy?  It's endless and it's annoying.

So, yesterday, I decided to give them a lesson in money.  

We pulled out their piggy banks and lined up the coins in $1 piles.  Then we divided the piles into three separate groups.  One group was for savings, one was for spending and one was for donating.

As soon as I so much as mentioned donating, Big was crying.  "I don't want to donate money!!!"  I think if you mentioned it to him today, he'd start bawling on the spot...so don't mention it, k? :)

Then I brought them to the computer (cuz there was no chance I was going to drive them to the bank at the end of a busy day) and I showed them how I transferred money into their savings account.  Yeah, that was a weak lesson but whatever.  I can only do so much :)

And then we went online to buy books.  You know those scholastic flyers that they want every book on the planet from every month?  Well, that's what started the whole thing, so that's where the whole thing ended....

Big went first.  He decided to buy about 5 books.  But, he quickly realized there wasn't enough money left in his spending pile after the 3rd book.  So he had to decide which one's were important to him.  I also tried to explain to him that the Harry Potter book was $10 and that he'd have to save some of his money if he was ever going to be able to afford that one.  He ended up buying 2 books...a Lego Ninjago one that I'm sure we'll read a couple hundred times and a star wars sticker book which I personally think is a waste of money...good thing it's not my choice :)

Small went next.  He wanted both strawberry shortcake books and a couple of fairy books.  There was not anywhere close to the right amount of money in his spending pot.  So he was fine with the one strawberry shortcake book.

At this point, I thought I was doing a pretty decent job parenting...donating debauchle included.

But then Big came in and asked Small to buy him a book.  The avengers book that I was trying to avoid getting in the first place.  And what did Small say?  "Ok!  Me buy it for you, <Big>"  

Ugh!  Now what??  How can you teach one kid to not take advantage of the other without teaching the other one not to do nice things for his brother??

Dr. Phil!  Where are you when I need you??

So, I pulled the ol' "If he does something nice for you, then you should do something nice for him" card. Big agreed to buy Small a book in exchange for him buying the Avengers book.  He tried to buy Small a few of the books that he'd like but in the end, he decided on a Dora book that I'm sure Small will want to read every night.

Overall, I think they may have maybe kinda sorta learned something?  I think I'll be subtly hiding those scholastic flyers for the next few months, though!

Now, if only I could get Big to decide on a place to donate his money!  He's not into the SPCA, the food bank or Kidsport.  Any ideas? 

He did ask me at dinner last night if I spend money for him to play lacrosse and why other kids parents can't pay for their kids to play sports.  So maybe something's sinking in???

Which transformer was it?

Many months ago, my husband and I were woken up to a couple of loud bangs and flashing lights in the middle of the night.  We were both scared stiff because it was exactly what I expected gun shots to sound like.  It sounded like it was right outside our house, too!  It turned out to be an exploding transformer on the hill above our house.  But, I told that story numerous times to people asking if they'd heard the bangs.

Fast forward to now...many months later...after having never spoken of the exploding transformers for ages.  Big says to me, "Mommy, we had a transformer explode above our house, right?"

I said, "Yep!  Good memory!"

He said, "Which transformer was it, mommy?"

I said, "The one up the hill."

He thought a little longer and asked again, "But which transformer was it, mommy?"

I didn't really know where he was going with that so I asked, "I'm not sure what you're asking, buddy?"

So he said, "Was it Optimus Prime or Megatron that exploded above our house??"

Oh, to be a fly on the wall of that little brain!!

Can I get a cluck, cluck?

I was playing farm animals with the kids today and we decided the little dinosaur should make cupcakes and invite all his friends over to play.  But then the chicken joined in and I suggested that the chicken might want to make "Cluck-cakes!"

Well, the boys thought that was stinkin' hilarious!!

So Big's Jedi Knight came over on his starship and asked for, "1 Cluck-cake, please!"

But, my chicken warned Big's Jedi that the cluck-cakes have been known to make people cluck!  He might want to steer clear of the cluck-cakes!

Big's Jedi Knight wasn't afraid!  He chomped down two cluck-cakes!!

Then, all of a sudden, Big came over to me with his Jedi Knight and said,

"Cluck cluck. Can I please cluck have something cluck that stops me saying cluck cluck?"

I seriously almost died laughing!! That kid cracks me up!

Once I got myself back together, my cow offered him some chocolate chip Moooo-kies that were known to stop the clucks....but they may make you pee milk!!!!

Awesome :)

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...

I'm not going to lie.  January and February sucked.  There were so many things that sucked in those months, that I won't even sit here and bore you with the details.  We could be here all night!

But I will say that the boys were the epitome of suckage!  They fought and cried and hurt each other and stole each other's toys and pretty much tormented each other as. much. as. they. could.  Cooking dinner was a 2 hour affair in 30 second intervals between breaking up tantrums and fights and awfulness.  In one monumental 2 hour dinner cooking event, I gave out a combined 15 time outs!  I swear I should call Guinness and see if we made it in this year's record book.  You try cook a good meal under those conditions!

So to say that I nearly lost my mind in those months, is an understatement.

And then came March....

I don't know what happened in March...Maybe it was more sun?  Less rain?  Some flowers popping out?  Maybe it was a hint of snow that you could toboggan down but still know you could drive to work the next day?  Maybe it was the excitement of an upcoming spring break?  Maybe it was switching up the types of TV shows the kids were allowed to watch?

Either way, there's no other way to describe March other than to say, "It's a beautiful thing!"

Over the last few weeks, my boys have been incredible.  They've played nicely together, they don't beat the bazeeges out of each other, they seem to really enjoy each other's company.  And as a result, I enjoy their company a lot more, too.  I can actually cook a meal now and not worry that I'm going to have to discipline the whole way through it.  I also don't remember the last time I gave a time out to either kid.

Don't get me wrong, they're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  But just to give you an idea...I took Big skiing this afternoon.  He's been asking since his birthday so I figured I should get him up there before the snow melted.  He lasted a couple hours and then was dying to go home...you know why?  He missed his brother!  And you know what else??  So did I!!

Kind of cool to see your kids adore each other :)  I hope it lasts!  I'm going to go knock on wood now to make sure I haven't just jinxed the whole thing :)

Facebook status highlights from 2011

The problem with having cute stories about your kids on facebook and in a blog, is that you have to keep track of both.  So I decided to waste an hour and compile all my favorite status updates for 2011 here.  Some of them are hilarious!!

"Mommy? Does cock and rock rhyme?" "Yep!" "What about chick and dick?" "Wow, buddy! You're on a roll!"

S: "Mommy, that's too much!"
Me: "Oh, yeah? How much do you want?"
S: "I only want one much!"

Dear Santa, thank you for sending me a kid who sleeps all night and sleeps in until 7:30! I've waited almost 3 years for that. Thanks for coming through for me! Merry Christmas!

Nothing says Merry Christmas quite like taking a giant swig of apple cider and finding out that it's really turkey fat! #turkey fat + coffee mug = cruel joke!

5:30am. Christmas Eve morning:
S: "Abba Dabba. Abba Dabba. Pesto! You cat!"
Me: "My turn...Abracadabra. Abracadabra. Presto! You're asleep!"
Can't blame me for trying :)

Lying in bed tonight, B came up with some crazy story abotu lightning mcqueen and finn mcmissile doing crazy flips and failing and dying at the end...or something along those lines. He said, "is that a good story, mommy?" I said, "It was until the end. Can't they something more positive at the end...like bake cookies or something?" He thought that was freaking hiliarous! "But cars can't bake cookies, mommy! They don't have any hands!!!" Kinda pushed bedtime back abotu 20 minutes...

bought the kids ornaments to paint...ie, slather in copious amounts of paint that make them all look black and murky. Meh! Bygones. But, during the painting extravaganza:

"Mommy! Me want donkey!"
"There is no donkey, honey"
"Yeah, dare is! Rite dare! I want donkey!"
"Where, buddy? I can't see a donkey!"
"Dare!! Beside Fosty!"
"You mean the stocking?"
"Yeah, donkey! Dat's what I said!"
"Oh, right. Sorry! Here's the stocking then!"
"Thanks, mommy!"

I woke up at 6am with my sound asleep toddler cuddling all over me and laughing his little a$$ off in his dream!! How cute is that???

Walked into my parents house to my kids sitting side by side on the couch, sharing a blanket, watching TV and holding hands. Does it get any cuter than that?

S gave me three kisses on my cheek this morning and then licked me all up one side of my face. I said, "oooh!! Gross! That's yucky!!" He said, "That's what doggies do sometimes, mommy!" Can't argue that...still gross, though :)

"Me like daddy and you!"

At the Wizard of Oz play last night, the guy who was sitting beside B the entire time, sits down again after the intermission. He was tall and had white hair. B looked at him and said, "Were you one of the munchkins?"

Took my kid to see the Wizard of Oz and he smiled at me the whole way through it....well, until the scary wizard part. I asked him at the end of the play what his favorite part was and he said, "Going with you, mommy!"
Ok, he actually said, "Going to McDonald's on the way" but a girl can dream, can't she :)

B: "Mommy!! S's eating a cotton ball! Make him stop!!"
Me: "Where did he get a cotton ball?"
B: "I took it off his art! Make him spit it out! I don't want him to die!"
Me: "Did you just swallow a cotton ball, S?"
S: "Yep!"
B: "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! Now he has to go to the doctor!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
Me: "S, why did you swallow a cotton ball?"

S: "Cuz it's funny!"
B: "He's going to die, mommy!! Why did you eat a cotton ball? It wasn't cotton candy, you know!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
5 minutes later:
B: "Do you feel like you're starting to die, S?"

B: "Why are you wearing your glasses today, mommy?"
Me: "I dunno. I kinda just thought I'd switch things up a bit. Do you like them?"
B: "Not really. I like your contacts better. I like it when you get up in the morning and put your contacts in."
Me: "Ok, I'll do that tomorrow then."
S: "Me like my cow costume!"

"Have you ever heard of watermelon soup mommy? Doesn't it sound yummy? It's made specially for kids!"

"S, you crack me up!" "NO! ME CRACK YOU UP!!" "Ok, fine! You crack me up!" "Thas better!"

Said to his ammy, "I want to buy my mommy a wedding dress for her birthday so she can look like a princess!" Love that kid!

"Uh oh! My find find glass got wet!" "Your what glass?" "My find find glass!" "Oh you mean your magnifying glass?"

"S, you're a good little brother, aren't you?" "Yeah!" "Can you get me my bayblade, please?" "NO!" "Well, that doesn't sound like a good little brother!"

"I don't want to shake your hand, Uncle T! It has pee on it!" "What? My hand doesn't have pee on it!" "Yes, it does! I felt it when I high fived you earlier!" "There's no pee on my hand, buddy!" "Yeah, there is. It's down at the bottom there, see???"

how come I wasn't warned that the world would come to an end if the toast was cut in half????

"let's go to cookieland mommy where there's cookies the size of our teeth...but not cookies with screws in them, ok, mommy?"

"Mommy! There's Koko's and Dairy Queen and the Dealership...a dealership is something you take out into the sea, right, mommy?"

"Hey mommy! Come look! There's a new flower on our tree and it's really big and pretty! Come look! Come look!" "Yeah, buddy, that piece of garbage plastic the roofers chucked on the tree looks awesome! Maybe we should get those glasses checked!"

my kid spent the whole drive out to Oakridge yesterday playing with his "pet monkey" (ie, his foot). Should I praise his imagination or look into psychiatrists?

Yep! Every couch has now officially been peed on!

How come when you google "bee sting treatments" EPIDURAL doesn't come up as the #1 option? Seems to me that that's the only way I'll get through the night!

B had a conversation with the roofers today about headstands and such. Roofer said to B: "Can you touch your toes?" B said: "With what??" Awesome!

when the kid keeps opening the door just to look at his new bike, you know you made the right purchase :)

at the racetrack today: "are you having fun buddy?" "I could do this forever, mommy!"

"Mommy, I want to go to the museum!" "What museum, buddy?" "The one with all the fish!" "You mean the aquarium?" "Yeah, the museum with fish!"

‎"Mommy, all you ever do is make me sad!" "Really, buddy? That's all I ever do?" "Yeah, mommy! It's not fair that you get to go out for dinner with your friends. You're not allowed to ever leave! It makes me sad!" "Ok, buddy."

could wake up to my happy, little, well-rested guy singing, "Thooooo-mah and hi fwenz!!" any day!

Someone once told me that kids need to be defiant so they can learn how to be individuals. So...repeat after me...Defiance is good! Defiance is good! Defiance is good! I'm making it my new mantra...hopefully that way, I'll eventually believe it :)

SMILE! It's the first thing people like about you.

Oh where, oh where, has my adorable 4 year old gone?

As much as I wanted my kids to play together, I didn't want it to come in the form of combined attitude against me!!

Just to give you a visual...one kid is trying to peel the baby gate away from the door while screaming for daddy. The other one is taunting him from his room by screaming along with him. And I'm sitting in the middle of the hallway trying to maintain sanity. Misery loves company?

totally just drank too much wine without eating enough dinner...what's my name again?

"Was that a perfect fart, mommy?" Boys.

‎"mommy, leaves are disgusting! They're disgusting mommy. Especially the one's in Africa. Because they're poisonous." Huh?

has the most interesting conversations with my 2 year old. Pretty sure neither of us has a clue what we're talking about :)

how much does it suck to be 2 blocks away from the grocery store when you remember the 5 things you forgot to buy?

Don't you love it when you guzzle a big cold glass of refreshing milk only to find a pile of disgusting dishwasher grunge at the bottom of the cup? Yeah, I love that!

‎"Me got big pee pee! B got widdow pee pee!" Wonder who he learned that from?

‎"I only love you and S, daddy. I don't love mommy. She doesn't do anything." So...I'm clocking out for the day!

both kid, sitting alone in the kitchen eating breakfast and I hear, "I love you, S!"  "Me uv you, too, B!"

i think my kid just tried to pee on his brother.

"If you eat 4 more bites, I'll give you a cookie for dessert." "4 bites is a lot, mommy!" After 4 bites, "If you eat 6 bites, I'll give you a really big cookie!" "6 bites is too much, mommy. How about I only eat 2 more!" Good thing he doesn't know math yet. He sure thought that was a GREAT deal!

one kid's spent the whole day trying to play with his brother's toy and the other kid's spent the whole day trying to make sure his brother doesn't play with his toy. Makes for a pretty awesome day!

isn't sure who's more excited...the kids who get to go see THomas today or the mommy who doesn't have to bring them??

Yeah, I'm a great mom. I didn't notice the mold investation on the lid of the spaghetti sauce until my kids had finished their third bowl of pasta. can I get a collective GAG please?

whoever wrote the saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk" obviously didn't just watch their 2 year old pour a 4 Ltr jug of it all over the kitchen. Awesome.

‎3:30am..."Mommy! NO NAP!! NO NAP!!" kinda says it all...

"Look, mama! Dada bought me hockey shit! Like my hockey shit, mama? Look! Dat's my hockey dick! Me play my hockey dick in my hockey shit!" Gotta love 2 year olds! (ie, hockey stick and hockey shirt...in case you were confused!)"

"Hey, mommy! Why are you cleaning the counter?" "Because there's junk on it, buddy!" "You mean like in your car?" "Huh, buddy?" "Like the junk in your trunk?" "Buddy, girls don't like being told they have junk in their trunk" :)

"mommy, do you like jelly bean soup?" "I don't know, buddy! What's it made of?" "It's made of jelly beans and sugar and there's chocolate eggs mixed in. Can we make some mommy?" "Maybe not before bed, honey..."

"I love my mommy because she builds train tracks with me." Almost made me cry :)

"ank ooo ow ide, mama!" Translation: Thank you for taking me outside, mommy. Totally uncoerced. How sweet is that?

"Me have big dick!" "No, honey. It's a big STICK!"

and B exclaims enthusiastically, "Look mommy! There's a GIANT snot on my elbow! And it's green! My favorite color!!!"

"I don't like mangoes, mommy". "That's ok, honey. You don't have to eat it." "But, I like you, mommy!"

As your driving down a 5 lane hwy in the far left lane in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic, the little one yells out, "PEEEEEEEE!!" What do you do??

B heard Beyonce's "single ladies' at the sea life park today and all he's been singing since is "I'm a single X, I'm a single X, I'm a single X, I'm a single X. Put your hands up, Oh Oh Oh!"

"What's this show called again, buddy? Four Play? It can't be called Four Play. Is it really called Four Play?" "No, mommy! It's called Role Play. The other show is called Four Square." "I knew something didn't sound right!"

"Hey buddy! I love you very much!" "Hey mommy! I love daddy and S very much!"

While watching the EZEE Wrap dispenser commercial, B announces, "We only have hard wrap, don't we mommy?"

how cute is the kid that shares his grilled cheese sandwich with his blankie :)

is schizophrenia a side effect of turning 2?

"MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!" "Do you want some, buddy?" "NOPE!" Oh, yeah...the lovely sounds of a 2 year old!

"S! Get off of me! I'm not food!"

Wow! Did that Costco trip ever suck! Blueberries squished all over the floor, roasted chicken juice all over the cart, yogurt all over the new clothes, no cash for food from concession so three people chipped in to pay for our pizza, pizza everywhere, pee in the parking lot...seriously! I don't think they'll let us back!

"Hey, S! Where'd you get that muffin? Wait a sec...what is that in your hand? Is that poo!! GROSS!!!"

's kid peed in a cushioned church pew today and then pulled his pants down to show off what his momma gave him! Is he going to hell or am I?

"Do you know how cute you are, buddy?" "No, mommy! How cute?" "So cute, I can barely stand it!" "You mean hundreds of cute, mommy?"

So lets recap my cake baking skills this weekend...5 cakes baked in total. 1 crumbled in the pan. 1 eaten by squirrels. 1 burnt to a crisp. 1 exploded when the pyrex dish exploded. 1 doesn't have rabies, burn marks or any broken glass...PRICELESS!!

just spent about half an hour watching a movie in closed caption before I finally realized, "Hey! Is this closed captioned?" I thought it was just highly narrated. You can stop laughing at me now!

yo, daddy! If a kid comes at you with a potty full of pee, it's probably best to pay attention. But, judging by your wet arm and face, I'm guessing you know that by now :)

just took Mr. Miserable and Mr. Slippery Feet skating. I must really love my kids.

"How tall are you teach?" "6 feet" "What? So you mean you're like 5, 9?" "No, I'm 6 feet!" "So is that like 5, 11?" "No, it's like actually 6 feet!"

"Teach. What's F-I-R?" "It's fir. Like a fir tree?" "O....K???? So what is that then?" "It's FIR. FIR TREE. Like DOUGLAS FIR." "Uh...Huh?? I'll look it up in the dictionary, I guess."

And there he was, jumping up and down singing the happy dance, "I'm 4 YEARS OLD!! I'm FOUR YEARS OLD!!! Hurray!!!"...."How much longer until I'm five?? And when will I be three again??"

UNtil 2012...