One of my closest friends just got diagnosed with cancer. A nasty kind of cancer, too. She's the toughest gal I know, so I'm sure she's going to be in that "Screw you cancer! You can't take me down with you!" group.
This post isn't about my friend, though. This post is about my son.
This past month has been beyond brutal for me. My job, my kids, my life is driving me bat #$(* crazy, for lack of a better word. And then adding my friend's cancer to the mix pretty much threw me over the edge. My patience, my energy, my will to break up fights between my kids has pretty much been decimated. I've found a new appreciation for bedtime...and wine :)
Yesterday, though, while I was rushing to get dinner made and eaten within 30 minutes to get out to floor hockey class, Big grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs to "come see this mommy!!" Apparently there was something cool in the playroom.
I've seen lots of "cool" things in the playroom...lots of lego cars, playmobil bikeriders, clothes pulled out of the closet...none of which really match my definition of cool but I suck it up for the sake of my kid's self worth.
But yesterday? My amazing son dragged me upstairs to see a rainbow! We had a crazy downpour of rain and as soon as the sun came out, a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky. Both my kids stared at it in silent wonder for ages. Key word? SILENT!!
I said all kinds of "Wow! It's beautiful. Cool, eh?" statements but in my head I was thinking about my plan to get the lunch bags unpacked and in the dishwasher, the laundry in the washer, the dinner on the table.. what was I cooking for dinner again?? And how much time do we have until floor hockey???
I started to panic and said, "ok guys! I have to go start on dinner. Thanks for showing me."
At which point, Big grabbed my hand and said, "No, mommy! Really look at the rainbow! It's beautiful!"
I looked at my amazing kid and all I could think of was how truly beautiful he was. The rainbow was ok, too :) And I stayed there with my kids, holding their hands watching the rainbow disappear.
The rainbow only lasted for about 5 minutes and dinner was eaten and cleaned up with time to spare before floor hockey class...
And I managed to scoop a little moment of peace in my crazy hectic day with my little dudes.
But probably most importantly, I realized how small moments with my boys appreciating them and the things around them are waaaaaay more valuable than getting the lunch bags unpacked and the laundry in the wash. If only I could remind myself of that more often.
Thanks Big! I can see clearly now! But, honestly? That rainbow wasn't nearly as beautiful as it's reflection in your eyes!
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
20 questions to ask your kids!
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Saturday, 14 January 2012
The cake...Ugh!
If you know me at all, you know I'm big into making cakes.
Case in point:
As you can see, making cool cakes is kinda my thing. My mom used to make me cool cakes for my birthday and I want to do the same for my kids.
So when Big asked for a transformer cake for his 5th birthday, I spent about a month thinking about how I was going to do it. I had big aspirations of using bendy straws for joints and fondant for icing and making a transformer that actually transforms. Yeah, I'm serious...
After three hours of agonizing frustration, I had this to show for my efforts:
If you can't tell what this is....
It's a big pile of CRAP!!!
A 3 HOUR PILE OF CRAP!!
It's icing and cake and fondant and CRAP!!
I was super discouraged by the fondant and the cake falling apart all over the place. I made the pieces too small and the fondant too thick and well, after a few tears (I'm not gonna lie), I chucked the whole thing in the garbage!
Luckily, I'm not a complete idiot. I had a feeling something might go wrong during the transforming cake expedition. So I moved on to a Plan B. I made this cake...
Case in point:
Small's 1st birthday
Big's 2nd birthday
Small's 1 1/2 birthday
Big's 2 1/2 birthday
Big's 3rd birthday
Small's 2nd birthday (Stupid squirrels ate this cake...long story)
Big's 3 1/2 birthday
Big's 4th birthday
Small's 2 1/2 birthday
Big's 4 1/2 birthday
As you can see, making cool cakes is kinda my thing. My mom used to make me cool cakes for my birthday and I want to do the same for my kids.
So when Big asked for a transformer cake for his 5th birthday, I spent about a month thinking about how I was going to do it. I had big aspirations of using bendy straws for joints and fondant for icing and making a transformer that actually transforms. Yeah, I'm serious...
After three hours of agonizing frustration, I had this to show for my efforts:
If you can't tell what this is....
It's a big pile of CRAP!!!
A 3 HOUR PILE OF CRAP!!
It's icing and cake and fondant and CRAP!!
I was super discouraged by the fondant and the cake falling apart all over the place. I made the pieces too small and the fondant too thick and well, after a few tears (I'm not gonna lie), I chucked the whole thing in the garbage!
Luckily, I'm not a complete idiot. I had a feeling something might go wrong during the transforming cake expedition. So I moved on to a Plan B. I made this cake...
This cake took me a total of 20 minutes to decorate. But, I hate it. Sure, it looks ok and sure Big liked it, but it wasn't the cool transforming cake that's still brewing in my head.
Ok, so he liked it at lot....
And so did the little eyes peering over the counter...
But the coolest part of this cake was this:
THe rainbow surprise that greeted them when they cut into it. It really was a pretty cake!
So the next day, we're driving in the car and I said, "Did you like your cake, buddy?"
He said, "Yeah...but for my next birthday, do you think I could have a real transformer cake?"
Frig! Guess I better start working on a Plan C!
To my baby on his 5th birthday
Five?? WHAT THE??? Since when did you get old?? Just the other day, you were saying you're 4 and 3/4's! Now all of a sudden, you're 5!! Don't sneak up on my like that again, you hear?? That's just not fair!
I cannot believe how much you've changed this year. First of all, you can see!!! Hallelujah! You can see! We had no idea you were nearly blind. +7! MAN!! How did that fly under our radar? Surely there should be some warning signs. But, alas, you rode your bike like a maniac and you didn't walk into people or walls and you could point to little tiny images on pages! How were we to know those were survival skills?
Taking you to the eye doctor on a whim, though, I think it might be my best mommy moment of the year. Because not only did we get you glasses, we got you a whole new world! A world you can maneuver through better now that you can see more clearly. You are far more grown up and mature now because of it.
While you used to lack confidence in your abilities, you now are willing to try new things...most of the time! You also seem to have less anxiety over new experiences. You'd still rather be right next to me or daddy at all times but you're more willing to be alone.
We had a few bumps in the road with some rough daycare drop offs but now you really like daycare and playing with your friends. Or, at least, you don't tell me you hate daycare 24/7 :) That's a win, win for me :)
You started preschool this year, too. Your favorite part is seeing your special friend and doing your workbooks. Your teacher told me you are the last one to leave your workbook in the morning because you want to make sure you do the best you can on it everyday.
And that is what I love about you...your determination to work hard. You excel at bike riding. There was never a moment that you thought you couldn't ride your bike...I'm pretty sure you're going to be doing flips on that bike soon! When you're at the race track, you tell me you can do this forever! And you know what? I believe you! I feel so lucky that we've found something that I think you will have a lifelong passion for. Biking is you. You would do it every moment of every day if you could.
You even liked skiing the one time we brought you up on your birthday. You liked it in the same way that you like biking..."Mommy! I could do this forever!" That just makes me think you'll be one of those boarding/BMX dudes. I can totally picture you like those guys already in your baggy jeans that sag around your knees and your Vans sneakers that you refuse to tie up and your scruffy, long hair hanging at the skate park. Just stay away from the drugs, k? You're too smart for that :)
Anyway, little buddy, you are awesome. You're an amazing little guy and I know you are going to move mountains some day! Probably while pushing them on your bike, but that's beside the point :)
Stay cool always and remember that mommy loves you no matter what :)
I cannot believe how much you've changed this year. First of all, you can see!!! Hallelujah! You can see! We had no idea you were nearly blind. +7! MAN!! How did that fly under our radar? Surely there should be some warning signs. But, alas, you rode your bike like a maniac and you didn't walk into people or walls and you could point to little tiny images on pages! How were we to know those were survival skills?
Taking you to the eye doctor on a whim, though, I think it might be my best mommy moment of the year. Because not only did we get you glasses, we got you a whole new world! A world you can maneuver through better now that you can see more clearly. You are far more grown up and mature now because of it.
While you used to lack confidence in your abilities, you now are willing to try new things...most of the time! You also seem to have less anxiety over new experiences. You'd still rather be right next to me or daddy at all times but you're more willing to be alone.
We had a few bumps in the road with some rough daycare drop offs but now you really like daycare and playing with your friends. Or, at least, you don't tell me you hate daycare 24/7 :) That's a win, win for me :)
You started preschool this year, too. Your favorite part is seeing your special friend and doing your workbooks. Your teacher told me you are the last one to leave your workbook in the morning because you want to make sure you do the best you can on it everyday.
And that is what I love about you...your determination to work hard. You excel at bike riding. There was never a moment that you thought you couldn't ride your bike...I'm pretty sure you're going to be doing flips on that bike soon! When you're at the race track, you tell me you can do this forever! And you know what? I believe you! I feel so lucky that we've found something that I think you will have a lifelong passion for. Biking is you. You would do it every moment of every day if you could.
You even liked skiing the one time we brought you up on your birthday. You liked it in the same way that you like biking..."Mommy! I could do this forever!" That just makes me think you'll be one of those boarding/BMX dudes. I can totally picture you like those guys already in your baggy jeans that sag around your knees and your Vans sneakers that you refuse to tie up and your scruffy, long hair hanging at the skate park. Just stay away from the drugs, k? You're too smart for that :)
Anyway, little buddy, you are awesome. You're an amazing little guy and I know you are going to move mountains some day! Probably while pushing them on your bike, but that's beside the point :)
Stay cool always and remember that mommy loves you no matter what :)
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
The apple doesn't fall far...
I took Small to see a concert at my school just before Christmas. I let him bring a couple toys to keep his hands busy but I didn't think it through very well...one of the toys was a metal lid to a pot. Twice he dropped that lid with a loud crashing sound during the performance and twice the entire gym turned our way to see who the obnoxious person was making all the clatter. Oops! Sorry about that!
But it wasn't until I brought Big to his daycare concert that I realized exactly what that meant.
I tried to sneak Big into the room with all his friends before the concert. He was TOTALLY not into doing the concert and after watching him cry his way through his preschool one, I decided I wouldn't force the issue for this one. Instead, I decided to encourage/bribe/whatever as much as possible but cave at his first inclination to run.
So when I got him into the daycare room, all his friends were sitting listening to a story. I tried to quietly sneak him into a space between his two best friends. I was hoping he'd let me quietly sneak out after he felt comfortable between his friends.
Nope, he didn't want to be there, no chance! So I decided we should leave while we could. I turned to go quietly...
and my boot caught a rocking chair...
and I fell forward...
and knocked over 3 bins of toys...
in a GIANT CRASH!!!
Talk about a subtle exit!
But it was in that moment that I realized that poor Small is doomed. He's got my gift for grace and subtlety. His ability to destroy all things on contact, though, I can't take full credit for. That's gotta be partly him!
You'll be happy to know, though, that Big did participate in the daycare concert. I bribed him with all kinds of candy and treats and promised he could just stand there...and that's all he did! But I've never been prouder of that kid for sucking it up and doing something he absolutely detested!!
As for Small?? I'm proud of that kid, too! He almost smiled through his concert...never sang a word...but he seemed happy up there. And that's exactly what I love about him. He's happy happy happy!! Even when he's crumbling his cupcake into a mound of tiny chocolate morsels...he's happy happy happy! And when he's ripping the pages out of a book because he's frantically trying to find a specific picture that he likes...he's happy happy happy.
Or maybe he's just oblivious?? Either way, he's awesome :)
But it wasn't until I brought Big to his daycare concert that I realized exactly what that meant.
I tried to sneak Big into the room with all his friends before the concert. He was TOTALLY not into doing the concert and after watching him cry his way through his preschool one, I decided I wouldn't force the issue for this one. Instead, I decided to encourage/bribe/whatever as much as possible but cave at his first inclination to run.
So when I got him into the daycare room, all his friends were sitting listening to a story. I tried to quietly sneak him into a space between his two best friends. I was hoping he'd let me quietly sneak out after he felt comfortable between his friends.
Nope, he didn't want to be there, no chance! So I decided we should leave while we could. I turned to go quietly...
and my boot caught a rocking chair...
and I fell forward...
and knocked over 3 bins of toys...
in a GIANT CRASH!!!
Talk about a subtle exit!
But it was in that moment that I realized that poor Small is doomed. He's got my gift for grace and subtlety. His ability to destroy all things on contact, though, I can't take full credit for. That's gotta be partly him!
You'll be happy to know, though, that Big did participate in the daycare concert. I bribed him with all kinds of candy and treats and promised he could just stand there...and that's all he did! But I've never been prouder of that kid for sucking it up and doing something he absolutely detested!!
As for Small?? I'm proud of that kid, too! He almost smiled through his concert...never sang a word...but he seemed happy up there. And that's exactly what I love about him. He's happy happy happy!! Even when he's crumbling his cupcake into a mound of tiny chocolate morsels...he's happy happy happy! And when he's ripping the pages out of a book because he's frantically trying to find a specific picture that he likes...he's happy happy happy.
Or maybe he's just oblivious?? Either way, he's awesome :)
Small :)
Small: "Mommy, that's too much!"
Me: "How much do you want then, buddy?"
Small: "Me want one much!"
Me: "How much do you want then, buddy?"
Small: "Me want one much!"
Sunday, 1 January 2012
To ski or not to ski??
We took Big skiing for the first time on his birthday. Neither my husband nor I are skiiers. I used to ski a bit when I could go for free with my high school students but I haven't skiied in 6 years at least because it's just too expensive a sport.
But, Big LOOOOOVED it! He laughed the whole time and he was actually pretty decent at coasting by the end of the day. The whole time, he kept saying, "I could do this all day, mommy!"
The only other time I've ever heard him say that was at the bike track...and all he ever wants to do is bike ride!
So it sounds great, right? We found another sport that he seems to really really like and wants to improve on.
I looked into lessons, though. Our best options are 5 weeks of lessons every weekend for about $320. Or we could do 3 days in a row during spring break for about $150.
That's a looooot of money for a sport that we don't really do ourselves so he probably won't get much chance to ski again after the lessons are done. Plus, its a huge time investment...it would be pretty much full day events by the time we got to the mountain and such. And then my worry is that if we sign him up for 5 days, he may decide halfway through that he doesn't really like it that much after all.
So what do you do? Do you encourage a really expensive sport even though you know you aren't going to pursue it very often just because he seems to really really like it? Or do you spend your money on other things?
Any thoughts?
But, Big LOOOOOVED it! He laughed the whole time and he was actually pretty decent at coasting by the end of the day. The whole time, he kept saying, "I could do this all day, mommy!"
The only other time I've ever heard him say that was at the bike track...and all he ever wants to do is bike ride!
So it sounds great, right? We found another sport that he seems to really really like and wants to improve on.
I looked into lessons, though. Our best options are 5 weeks of lessons every weekend for about $320. Or we could do 3 days in a row during spring break for about $150.
That's a looooot of money for a sport that we don't really do ourselves so he probably won't get much chance to ski again after the lessons are done. Plus, its a huge time investment...it would be pretty much full day events by the time we got to the mountain and such. And then my worry is that if we sign him up for 5 days, he may decide halfway through that he doesn't really like it that much after all.
So what do you do? Do you encourage a really expensive sport even though you know you aren't going to pursue it very often just because he seems to really really like it? Or do you spend your money on other things?
Any thoughts?
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