"Awww, gross, dude! Don't wipe your nose all over the sleeve of your pajamas? Do you really want to sleep in that all night?" Wipes his nose again..."Me put it back!"
"Chocolate marble cake, mommy? I heard you say chocolate marble cake!" "I did, buddy. I have to make one tomorrow!" "But why would you put marbles in it??"
i think someone would make millions by making some sort of splash guard or piddle pad around toilets for mom's of little boys!
"Double thank you for my new bike, mommy!"
Yo Dora! What's the matter for you? My kid is yelling all the answers to your problems! Can't you hear him???
is spending my Sat night watching TInkerbell: the movie! Did I mention I have boys? And they picked it? Well, the little one that's into dolls picked it...
so for the last month, we've been eating raisins out of a bag that I just realized expired in Apr 2011. If we haven't died yet, do you think we're still safe to eat them?
"Sorry for swording you, mommy!"
Super C went to daycare today dressed in his Captain America PJ's and super hero cape. Does it get any cuter?
Me: "In a couple weeks, we're going to Seattle!"
C: "Why are we going to Seattle?"
Me: "Because it's fun!"
C: "But why are we going to Seattle?"
Me: "Because I thought you'd like to?"
C: "But who's Attle? Why do we want to see him?"
C: "My nose is naughty!"
Me: "oh yeah? What did it do?"
C: "It's naughty! Look mommy! It's naughty!"
Me: "Why is it naughty? Did it do something?"
C: "Yeah, its naughty! It needs a kleenex!"
Me" Oh, you mean it's SNotty!!"
Dad: "Ok, boys. You need to go get dressed and then we're going shopping for some stuff for you"
Me: "We're looking at glasses for B but what are we looking for for C?"
B: "Do you want Barbie's, C?"
figures my kid would go up to the dodgy biker gang and say, "Do you like my mommy's box?"
walking out of floor hockey class today, B says to the dad of twins, "Do they live in the same house?"
"I love you all the way to the universe, around Mars and all the way back. That's how much I love you, mommy!"
You know what noise your heart makes?
B: "Lub Dub. Lub Dub."
C: "Moo Moo. Moo Moo!"
You know those jackasses at the ferry that think they have loads of time and decide to take a leisurely stroll to starbucks, only to find out that they're ferry is starting to leave and they're miles away and have to run...UPHILL...with a kid on each shoulders while clinging desperately to their starbucks and damn near busting a lung on the run back to the car while people pull around their car in all directions pointing and swearing at them? Feel free to call me a jackass next time you see me!!
nothing says "I love you" quite like listening to the Star Wars theme song on repeat loop for 45 minutes straight! You're welcome kid!
"Hey, buddy! There's the school you're going to in Sept!" "Umm, that's ok, mommy. I don't like it." "But, look! There's my school! Almost right next door!" "Really?? That close? So I can walk down and see you whenever I want!" "Sure, why not?" "But I don't know what your room number is, mommy!"
"I want to be a monster truck when I grow up! How about you, C?"
"I WANT TO BE A PIG WHEN I GROW UP!!!"
Mommy can we go to toys for us?
One kid today scored his first goal at lacrosse and the other kid "washed off his dicker!" It's a good day!
the little one has developed a new approach to avoiding teeth brushing..."THE HOUSE SAYS THERE'S NO TEETH BRUSHING HERE!!!" and when that didn't work..."BUT THE COUCH SAID NO TEETH BRUSHING, TOO!!!"
B: "I have a good idea, mommy! Why don't we paint a piece of bread and then sit on it!"
Me: "Why would we want to do that? Sounds like a big mess!"
B: "No!! We'd put a piece of paper over it and then we'd sit on it."
Me: "Why would we want to sit on it, though?"
B: "Because! That's art! Don't you think that's a good idea, mommy?"
Me: "Why would we want to do that? Sounds like a big mess!"
B: "No!! We'd put a piece of paper over it and then we'd sit on it."
Me: "Why would we want to sit on it, though?"
B: "Because! That's art! Don't you think that's a good idea, mommy?"
What's a nice way to say, "HELL TO THE NO!!??"
B: "I love you all the way up to the sky and back down and up and back down and up and back down and up and back down and past all the planets and bikes and houses..."
Me: "Ok, buddy, I get it smile emoticon"
Mommy! C just peed on my lego box!!"
Not exactly the highlight of my day so far!
# of half birthday kids hoarding the fruit roll up lightsabers: 1
# of mom's who didn't clue in on the hoarding until late last night...DOH!: 1
# of mom's who didn't clue in on the hoarding until late last night...DOH!: 1
# of kids with heat stroke almost requiring a trip to emergency: 1
# of mom's feeling like a loser for not force feeding her kid water all day: 1
# of mom's feeling like a loser for not force feeding her kid water all day: 1
# of party planners who probably should have made more food??: 1
# of half birthday kids who were stoked to be on a bike track with all his friends and was still talking about it today and will still be talking about it for years to come.....1!
All that effort? TOTALLY WORTH IT!!
Me: "Honey, you're going to think I'm the best mommy in the world when you see what I've got for you!"
B: "But I already think you're the best mommy in the world!"
*swoon*
C: "Mommy, your first name is mommy and your last name is Lauren, right? And daddy's first name is daddy and his last name is Mike!"
My kid is pretty proud of himself. He learned a new trick today. It's called "Turn Your Fork Into A Catapult and Launch Your Dinner Across The Kitchen". I wish I were kidding.
"Mommy! I tried to put the booger back in my nose but it didn't work!"
C:"Can we go to my party now?"
Me: "No, buddy. Not yet!"
Wait 30 seconds....
C: "Now?"
Me: "No, buddy! Not yet!!"
Wait another 30 seconds...
C: "How about now?"
Wash. RInse. Repeat. Every. 30. Seconds.
what's the world record for tantrums in a day? I think I may be on track to beating it...and we're only an hour into our day! Who's bringing me wine tonight?
"I want special eggs, mommy! I WANT SPECIAL EGGS!! SPECIAL EGGS!! SPECIAL EGGS!!!!"
"Ok, buddy, I'll make you special eggs!"
After he gets his eggs in front of him...
"I DON'T WANT EGGS, MOMMY!! NO EGGS!!! I DON'T LIKE EGGS!!! WAAAAAAA"
"Ok, buddy, I'll make you special eggs!"
After he gets his eggs in front of him...
"I DON'T WANT EGGS, MOMMY!! NO EGGS!!! I DON'T LIKE EGGS!!! WAAAAAAA"
Seriously...when did I give birth to a teenage girl??
B: When I grow up, I want to be a hockey player and go bowling on the ice!
C: When I grow up, I want to be a lion tamer and live on the top of a big hill!
C: "Mommy, if you want to be a mailman, you just have to eat your veggies, eat ice cubes, go to bed, wake up, eat brocolli, go to bed again, wake up and then you can play loud. Just like that, mommy!"
If I didn't feed him myself, I'd wonder who his junkie was!
on the radio today, they were talking about PETA putting signs up around elementary schools saying, "You wouldn't eat your dog, would you?" At which point, B said, "That would be really gross, wouldn't it, mommy? Cuz what if it pooped in your mouth???" Gotta love kids smile emoticon
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