My best , "WTF happened to you?" story was my showdown with my usually really easy to parent 8 year old...not to be confused with my stubborn as shit, giant pain in the ass, hour long tantrum slinging 6 year old!
So we come home from school and I immediately start to cook dinner. They're pretty feral by the time school is over so I cook dinner toute de suite most days. Anyhow, he starts lipping me off about something stupid. I tell him to stop lipping me off or he will have to leave the kitchen. He keeps lipping me off...I finally get to the point where I'm so pissed off that he won't leave , I start to count down from 3.
3-2- at this point he says, "I don't know why you're counting. It doesn't mean anything anyway. It's not like you're going to do anything about it when you get to 1"
Well, holy shit if I didn't stand there with a dumb look on my face! The damn kid finally found me out!!! And not only that, he called my bluff!!!!
So I got to 1 and no word of a lie, he says, "Now what are you gonna do mommy? I'm not leaving the kitchen!"
*insert loud, drawn out swear words screamed in my head*
What he doesn't know, though, is that I deal with attitudinal teenagers all. Day. Long. I got this!!
So l leaned in close to him and said very calmly, "Let me explain to you how this is going to go down. Either you leave the kitchen, or I leave the kitchen. And if I leave, then I won't be starting dinner for at least an hour."
"I'm not leaving!" He says.
So I get my book and sit in the living room. I just got myself an hour free time!! 2 minutes later, he stomps out of the kitchen and yells, "fine!! You can have it!!"
And then he promptly went up to his room for a nap.
I woke him up an hour and a half later when dinner was ready :)
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