Big: "Mommy!! <Small>'s eating a cotton ball! Make him stop!!"
Me: "Where did he get a cotton ball?"
Big: "I took it off his art! Make him spit it out! I don't want him to die!"
Me: "Did you just swallow a cotton ball, <Small>?"
Small: "Yep!"
Big: "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! Now he has to go to the doctor!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
Me: "<Small>, why did you swallow a cotton ball?"
Small: "Cuz it's funny!"
Big: "He's going to die, mommy!! Why did you eat a cotton ball? It wasn't cotton candy, you know!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
5 minutes of serious consoling later:
Big: "Do you feel like you're starting to die, <Small>?"
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Bully's
I was driving the other day and Big asked me what a bully was.
I told him it's someone who's not very nice and treats people badly. They say mean words, hurt people and exclude them from things. I reminded him that it's not nice to do those things to anyone and that you should always treat people the way you want them to treat you.
And then I asked, "Do you understand?"
And he responded with, "Yeah, mommy. You mean a bully is like all the other reindeers when they wouldn't let Rudolph play in their games!"
That kid rocks :)
I told him it's someone who's not very nice and treats people badly. They say mean words, hurt people and exclude them from things. I reminded him that it's not nice to do those things to anyone and that you should always treat people the way you want them to treat you.
And then I asked, "Do you understand?"
And he responded with, "Yeah, mommy. You mean a bully is like all the other reindeers when they wouldn't let Rudolph play in their games!"
That kid rocks :)
Not quite a stork!
On the way home from soccer tonight, I got the dreaded question..."Mommy, how do babies get into their mommies tummies?"
I was tired...stunned...verklempt...and so I copped out to the traditional, "That's a question you better ask your daddy!"
But as I drove another couple blocks, I figured daddy would probably be even more tired...stunned...verklempt...and might go into full confusing detail of how babies get in their mommies tummies.
So I decided to give it a shot. Here's what I came up with on the fly...
"That's a really good question, buddy! I'm glad you asked. You know how they get in their? Their mommy and daddy hope and wish with all their might for a beautiful baby to love and then all of a sudden a baby is there!"
"So do daddies have boy babies and mommies have girl babies?"
"Nope, only mommies can have babies. Daddy's don't have the right parts."
"What kind of parts, mommy?"
"The really tough one's that build strong, happy babies."
"And daddies don't have those parts?"
"Nope, they're just not tough enough!" :)
"Then how do the babies get out of their mommy's tummies?" (Nothing gets past this kid!)
"Well, the mommy hugs the baby tight for as long as she thinks the baby needs to feel safe and strong and when she thinks the baby's ready, she lets go so he or she can come into the world. But, she still hugs it tight and loves it as long as the baby lives so that he or she always knows that it's mommy will take care of it!"
I think I did pretty good, don't you?
Friday 18 November 2011
The hazards of shopping
I became a statistic last week. Not a good one, either!
I took my kids grocery shopping at Costco the other day and thought I had them safely tucked inside the shopping cart. Sure, Small wasn't sitting totally down but he was crouched back on his haunches at least. And sure he was looking over the back end of the cart but he was holding on and 99% of his weight was pushed back into the middle of the cart. It seemed a heck of a lot safer than having them clinging to the outsides of the cart somewhere.
And then I hit a bump...a fairly awkward bump...and I obviously hit it harder than I expected.
Small was pretty much launched into the air and sent head diving into the ground. He hit the road with the crown of his head and then flipped over onto his back.
I'll just let that sink in for a minute....
Naturally, I was pretty horrified. In fact, the whole thing still terrifies me!
But, the kid literally had NOTHING on his head! Not a bruise!! Not a bump!! Not even a minor cut! NOTHING!!!
And that, quite frankly, terrified me more than the actual incident. How many stories have you heard where people die of bleeding brains with no warning?
I pretty much shook for the next three hours. And, of course, in the middle of that time frame, I called the Nurses Hotline.
I don't know why I bother calling the Nurses Hotline. Nine times out of 10, they tell me to go to a doctor or hospital right away...just to be safe. So, really...if I'm concerned enough to call the Hotline, I should just skip the middle step and go straight to a clinic or hospital.
Either way, they started talking about skull fractures and I SWEAR I felt a minor dent in his head..so off we went to a clinic!
Two hours of singing and playing and dancing in the waiting room later, Small was a happy, happy camper and I feel a bit like a loser for wasting the doctor's time. But, you can never be too sure with head injuries!
The doctor told me how he'd been entertained with Small's rendition of the alphabet all afternoon (I guess he was louder than I thought in the waiting room...oops!) and did some minor checkings of his skull and assured me that he was fine. I practically begged him to find the dent that I SWEAR was there and he just chuckled at me as if to say, I bet you could find something wrong with him if you looked hard enough!
He did suggest we wake him up sometime in the night to make sure he could be roused and I told him that wouldn't be a problem since the kid wakes us up every four hours as it is. Situation normal!
Final verdict a week later? I still feel like a tool for launching my kid out of the shopping cart in the first place. But I'm fairly positive the kids will be a lot more compliant to sitting down in the cart than they have in the past. And Small?? That kid is a little spitfire, let me tell you! Not one iota of injury on that kid's head...I can't even find the dent anymore!! Now if only we could get him to sleep better.....
Who's Great Idea Was This?
No, SERIOUSLY! Whose great idea was Halloween??
I mean, I totally don't get it. Like who in their right mind would want to give their kids ample supply of candy, late in the evening, right before bedtime! And then continue to supply them with candy for the next 3 months? It's so bizarre to me that anyone would come up with such an insane idea!
No MOM would have thought it was a good idea! That's pretty obvious!!
I mean, I totally don't get it. Like who in their right mind would want to give their kids ample supply of candy, late in the evening, right before bedtime! And then continue to supply them with candy for the next 3 months? It's so bizarre to me that anyone would come up with such an insane idea!
No MOM would have thought it was a good idea! That's pretty obvious!!
I have a theory, though. I think this is the real story behind Halloween:
A bunch of dads are sitting around a hockey rink drinking their Timmy's and watching their kids play a game.
Dad #1 says, "My wife only cooks me healthy food! I need more sugar sugar sugar!!"
Dad #2 replies with, "You're telling me, man! If I eat anymore quinoa..."
At which point, Dad #3 says, "You know what?? I think we should get strangers to give us sugar! That's the ticket! Then our wives can't tell us we can't have it because it was a gift! And you know as well as I do that they wouldn't want to offend anyone by not taking the gift!"
Cheers erupt from the audience...the kids on the ice look at the dads and yell, "There was no goal!! Why the ruckus??"
And the dads yell, "EUREKA!! WE JUST STRUCK GOLD!"
But there was a flaw to their plan...any old dude showing up at a strangers door was likely to be met with slammed doors in their faces. No one opens their door to packs of strange men! That's just crazy!!
Until....
A bunch of dads are sitting around a hockey rink drinking their Timmy's and watching their kids play a game.
Dad #1 says, "My wife only cooks me healthy food! I need more sugar sugar sugar!!"
Dad #2 replies with, "You're telling me, man! If I eat anymore quinoa..."
At which point, Dad #3 says, "You know what?? I think we should get strangers to give us sugar! That's the ticket! Then our wives can't tell us we can't have it because it was a gift! And you know as well as I do that they wouldn't want to offend anyone by not taking the gift!"
Cheers erupt from the audience...the kids on the ice look at the dads and yell, "There was no goal!! Why the ruckus??"
And the dads yell, "EUREKA!! WE JUST STRUCK GOLD!"
But there was a flaw to their plan...any old dude showing up at a strangers door was likely to be met with slammed doors in their faces. No one opens their door to packs of strange men! That's just crazy!!
Until....
Dad #1 reaches genius status:
"I've GOT IT!! We'll get our KIDS to do it!! We'll dress them up in super cute costumes that no one can turn their backs on and the strangers will throw oodles and oodles of chocolate and candy at them!! IT'S BRILLIANT!!!"
And so we get Halloween. A mom's worst nightmare. A kid's biggest dream. And a dad's best goal scored!
"I've GOT IT!! We'll get our KIDS to do it!! We'll dress them up in super cute costumes that no one can turn their backs on and the strangers will throw oodles and oodles of chocolate and candy at them!! IT'S BRILLIANT!!!"
And so we get Halloween. A mom's worst nightmare. A kid's biggest dream. And a dad's best goal scored!
Life Father, Like Husband
When I was 12, my parents took me and my sister on an amazing trip to Europe and England. My dad told us all kinds of crazy stories about his youth...none of which were really role model material. After each of them, he'd repeat, "Do as I say, not as I do!" Lucky for him, we were really good kids and there was no chance we'd do the things he did! Nuts!!
There was one major memory in my head from that trip, though. I think about it often when I see my dad with my kids.
We went to visit his friends who lived in this massive castle...at least, that's what I remember it looking like. They had two little boys. They were probably about the same age as my kids are now. One of the little boys fell and hurt himself and I remember my dad going through some ancient witch doctor healing ritual with the kid. It was things like, "rub your hands together and say Poof! Go away ouchie!" Then he took a feather, rubbed it on the kid's knee and blew on it until the kid was giggling from the tickles. He was totally distracted and had no idea his knee had a gaping wound on it, nor did he care. He was up chasing my dad in no time.
I remember thinking how awesome my dad was to be able to help a little kid like that.
There was one major memory in my head from that trip, though. I think about it often when I see my dad with my kids.
We went to visit his friends who lived in this massive castle...at least, that's what I remember it looking like. They had two little boys. They were probably about the same age as my kids are now. One of the little boys fell and hurt himself and I remember my dad going through some ancient witch doctor healing ritual with the kid. It was things like, "rub your hands together and say Poof! Go away ouchie!" Then he took a feather, rubbed it on the kid's knee and blew on it until the kid was giggling from the tickles. He was totally distracted and had no idea his knee had a gaping wound on it, nor did he care. He was up chasing my dad in no time.
I remember thinking how awesome my dad was to be able to help a little kid like that.
Fast forward to present day...
I've been really easily frustrated lately. My job is really stressful right now and Small is still waking us up every four hours at night so I'm tired, impatient and grumpy. My kids drive me batty quite often with their fighting and saying mean things to each other. My response is many times inadequate with the ol', "Would you PLEASE STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER????" It never works. I don't know why I bother trying.
But, the other day, I noticed that my husband is a star at distractions. He gets the kids up and playing a game. Or he makes silly noises and gets them laughing. He does all kinds of things to get the kids doing what he wants them to do.
And the other day, when he started rubbing Big's knee because it hurt and then they both blew on it and started giggling, it reminded me of my dad and the little boy at the castle.
I've been really easily frustrated lately. My job is really stressful right now and Small is still waking us up every four hours at night so I'm tired, impatient and grumpy. My kids drive me batty quite often with their fighting and saying mean things to each other. My response is many times inadequate with the ol', "Would you PLEASE STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER????" It never works. I don't know why I bother trying.
But, the other day, I noticed that my husband is a star at distractions. He gets the kids up and playing a game. Or he makes silly noises and gets them laughing. He does all kinds of things to get the kids doing what he wants them to do.
And the other day, when he started rubbing Big's knee because it hurt and then they both blew on it and started giggling, it reminded me of my dad and the little boy at the castle.
I always knew both my dad and my husband were amazing dudes. But, I guess I never really realized how similar they are in how they deal with kids.
I guess the old adage about little girls marrying their dads has some truth to it!
Either way, I guess I got lucky in both respects!
I guess the old adage about little girls marrying their dads has some truth to it!
Either way, I guess I got lucky in both respects!
Trick or Treat
It was my birthday this weekend! Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday to me. Thanks :) It's really not that big of a deal! I'm not 40...yet...so I'm not officially middle aged...right? Whatever. Age is a state of mind and I still swear I'm 27 so that's all that matters :)
Either way, my kids have been stoked about my birthday! Like beyond stoked! They've been waiting for Halloween because that means it's mommy's birthday!! They've been asking me about my party for ages...who's coming...what costume I'm going to wear (because it's of course going to be a costume party :) ) and what kind of cake I'm having.
If you've followed my blog at all, you know I'm big into cakes for my kids birthdays. Well, I've obviously done a good job making them feel special with their cakes because they were dumbfounded when I said I probably wouldn't have one. What? No cake?? What kind of party has no cake?
So the first thing my kids wanted to do when we got up in the morning was put on their costumes...to get ready for the party :) Then they waited...and waited...and waited...still no party! "When are your friends coming, mommy?" "They're not coming, honey! All I need for my birthday is you boys!" Eventually, the costumes came off...the waiting stopped and they moved onto other things. I think me booting off to Costco was a bit of a buzz kill for them :)
Then we headed out for dim sum...which was really the only thing I wanted to do for my birthday. They were all excited because they thought they were finally going to my party! "Where's your party, mommy? At the park?" "No, honey. We're going to a restaurant for lunch."
Didn't sound cool...nor did the half hour wait time to get in! But, yum!! Was the dim sum ever good! And can I just say how awesome my kids are? They tried everything we ordered! Ok, so we don't order things like chicken feet and tripe and stuff that looks like science experiments to me. But, they did eat this black bean sesame thing that looked like a pile of black stuff in a bowl. If I didn't know it tasted good, there's no chance I would have tried it! Those kids didn't even bat an eye! Small actually gobbled it down as quickly as he could get it in his mouth...and on his shirt...and down the front of his chest...and all over his face...he was a mess by the end! Situation normal :)
After lunch, we decided to finally head to the pumpkin patch. It was rainy and muddy and wet and the pumpkins were almost all rotten so we had pretty much the whole place to ourselves. The kids said they had a lot of fun and wanted to go back tomorrow. "How about next year instead?" "Ok, mommy!"
The rest of the day was spent at home cooking dinner, carving pumpkins and eating cake...Yep! I did actually get cake :) My husband is really good at making sure i get my favorite on my birthday...DQ Ice Cream Cake. MMMMmmmmm!!!
All in all, it was a great day. I didn't see any friends or do anything super spectacular, nor did I get any presents. But, the best thing was that I was with my 3 favorite dudes and I couldn't have been happier!
Happy Halloween everyone! Stay safe!!
Either way, my kids have been stoked about my birthday! Like beyond stoked! They've been waiting for Halloween because that means it's mommy's birthday!! They've been asking me about my party for ages...who's coming...what costume I'm going to wear (because it's of course going to be a costume party :) ) and what kind of cake I'm having.
If you've followed my blog at all, you know I'm big into cakes for my kids birthdays. Well, I've obviously done a good job making them feel special with their cakes because they were dumbfounded when I said I probably wouldn't have one. What? No cake?? What kind of party has no cake?
So the first thing my kids wanted to do when we got up in the morning was put on their costumes...to get ready for the party :) Then they waited...and waited...and waited...still no party! "When are your friends coming, mommy?" "They're not coming, honey! All I need for my birthday is you boys!" Eventually, the costumes came off...the waiting stopped and they moved onto other things. I think me booting off to Costco was a bit of a buzz kill for them :)
Then we headed out for dim sum...which was really the only thing I wanted to do for my birthday. They were all excited because they thought they were finally going to my party! "Where's your party, mommy? At the park?" "No, honey. We're going to a restaurant for lunch."
Didn't sound cool...nor did the half hour wait time to get in! But, yum!! Was the dim sum ever good! And can I just say how awesome my kids are? They tried everything we ordered! Ok, so we don't order things like chicken feet and tripe and stuff that looks like science experiments to me. But, they did eat this black bean sesame thing that looked like a pile of black stuff in a bowl. If I didn't know it tasted good, there's no chance I would have tried it! Those kids didn't even bat an eye! Small actually gobbled it down as quickly as he could get it in his mouth...and on his shirt...and down the front of his chest...and all over his face...he was a mess by the end! Situation normal :)
After lunch, we decided to finally head to the pumpkin patch. It was rainy and muddy and wet and the pumpkins were almost all rotten so we had pretty much the whole place to ourselves. The kids said they had a lot of fun and wanted to go back tomorrow. "How about next year instead?" "Ok, mommy!"
The rest of the day was spent at home cooking dinner, carving pumpkins and eating cake...Yep! I did actually get cake :) My husband is really good at making sure i get my favorite on my birthday...DQ Ice Cream Cake. MMMMmmmmm!!!
All in all, it was a great day. I didn't see any friends or do anything super spectacular, nor did I get any presents. But, the best thing was that I was with my 3 favorite dudes and I couldn't have been happier!
Happy Halloween everyone! Stay safe!!
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