Stuff it!!

Big was worried about wearing this shirt to school one day because he was worried one of the other kids would get upset at him for wearing it...  Don't ask!

So a week later, I managed to sneak the shirt on him without him realizing it...just to show him he's being silly and the kid could probably care less.

But as I drove him to school, i gave him some words to use, just in case the kid did say anything.

Me: "Hey!  Tell me you don't like my shirt!"
Big: "But I do like you're shirt!"

Me: "Just pretend...so I can tell you what to say if anyone says it to you."
Big: "Ok...Mommy, I don't like your shirt....<whispers> but I really do like it!"

Me: "Well, you can just stuff it because I like my shirt and I don't care what you think!"
Big: "That's funny, mommy!"

And then he practiced it and I sent him off to school feeling like I'd taught my kid to stick up for himself.

Fast forward a few days later...

Big: "Mommy, how come you told me to say bad things?"
Me: "What do you mean?"

Big: "Mrs. O at school told me that <Stuff it!> isn't appropriate!  Why did you tell me to say that?"
Me: "Why were you saying it to Mrs. O at school????  Yikes!!  I meant it only for you to say if someone was being really really mean to you.  It's not something you normally use in conversation.  You know what?  Maybe you just shouldn't say it."

Big: "Yeah, I don't think I should say that."

*****************************************************************************
Can I blame my dad for that one???

It's so obvious now!!

For the last year, I've watched Small have these AMAZING tantrums!  Like, I mean, EPIC tantrums!  As frustrating as they are, I've always been hugely impressed with how he'll stick to his guns NO. MATTER. WHAT!!!!  He's determined, strong willed and totally awesome!!!

Big, though, is the complete opposite.  It wasn't until he mentioned something about the kids at school over Christmas, that we realized he wasn't enjoying Kindergarten as much as we originally thought.  Don't get me wrong, he's doing great!  But, he's got some stuff going on that we had no idea about!  He is not like his brother.  He internalizes everything.  If something bothers him, he keeps it in because he doesn't want to get in trouble or make us upset.  The only exception is soccer...he'll happily tell us how much he hates soccer :)

It's funny how your perspective changes as time goes on. What I originally saw as Small's pain in the ass trait weakness, I now see as a huge strength in him.  He couldn't give two hoots what people think of him or what he has to do to get his way.  He will stick to his guns and not back down regardless.  There's something hugely admirable about that....of course, I can only see that now that he's starting to come around and be more pleasant to be with....but that's besides the point :)

While I originally saw Big's willingness to do anything to get along with others as a huge positive, I'm starting to see some downfalls to it.  He doesn't seem to have the same strength of his convictions when he's dealing with the kids at school.  If they tell him to do something, he seems to do it whether he wants to or not so that he doesn't upset the kids.  That's not awesome.  Although, he's very kind and friendly and is well liked by his friends.  That's awesome :)

I guess there's some pros and cons to both personalities.  They are both equally incredible boys in their own ways...I'm just wondering if some day, they'll rub off on each other and reach a happy medium :)