5! GLORIOUS 5!!!!

It's no secret that 3 did not look pretty on Small.  4 looked only slightly better!

It's also no secret that I was literally counting down the days until he turned 5...since he was about 4 years 2 months old!!

Ok, maybe that was a secret...Shh!!  Don't tell anyone!

Either way, he is officially 5 and can I just say that 5 is all kinds of awesome!!!!  No joke!!  5 year olds are ALMOST rational!  They are ALMOST capable of controlling their emotions.

They are ALMOST HUMAN!!!

Yeehaw!!!

So the other day, I was driving him from point A to point B (which is what I spend about 80% of my free time doing...and he decided he wanted to eat his cheesecake.

<Note: the so called cheesecake I made was actually a healthy fake version made with greek yogurt and strawberries...Muwahaha!!!  Mommy's smarter than you, kid!!!>

Anyhow, I told him he had to eat his veggies first.  He started pulling out the ol' tears/tantrum/hissy fit/all of the above.  But, I ignored him and shoved both his veggies and his "cheesecake" in front of him.  I then explained that he can't have his "treat" until he eats his good food first.


Now, if he were 3, that would have resulted in a 2 hour legs and arms flailing on the ground massive fallopian tube seizing tantrum.


If he were 4, that would have resulted in a 1 hour legs and arms flailing on the ground mommy needs an ENTIRE bottle of wine tantrum.


But...he's five now!!  So you know what happened???


He thought about it for a few minutes!!


I'll just let that sink in for a second.....







YEP!!  HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A FEW MINUTES!!!!!!!!!



And then, the next thing I knew....I heard the veggie container clicking open.


< can I just interject here and say how beautiful a sound that is.... >


< like music to a mom's ears!!! >


And he ate the ENTIRE container of veggies....


and then he said, "Mommy, I ate my veggies.  I'm going to eat my cheesecake now!"


"Sure! You go for it, buddy!"



But you and I both know that that cheesecake was actually pretty healthy for him :)

Double Muwahaha!!!  Can't pull a fast one on me little fella!!!



But then the most amazing thing happened!  A little miracle, you might say!


He said, "Mommy, I made a good choice there!  I wanted to cry when you told me I needed to eat my veggies first but I decided to eat them because I wanted to eat my cheesecake!"




Ok, WHAAAAAAAAT????????????


Have the zombie's officially invaded and taken over my child??????



Nope...he's just 5!!



And so far, 5 is looking pretty good on him!!!!

The F word?!?!

Twice this week, I found myself trapped in a teeny tiny ultrasound room with both boys hyper at the end of the day....for AN HOUR each time!!!  Don't ask...I promise you don't want details!

In my desperation to save the expensive equipment from its imminent destruction, I "made up" a game:  I say a word then they say another word that starts with the same sound.

Wanna know how it went???

Ready??

Here we go....

Me: "Fish!"
B: "I know the F word!"
C: "Yeah, it's FUU-KE!"  (that's how he pronounced it...Extra E (as in envelope) at the end and everything!

Me: "That's not a nice word.  Let's try another one...Alligator!"
C: "Apple!"
B: "I know the A word!  Aaaaaaa-SS!!!"

Me: "Ok, lets stop with the bad words guys.  How about Cat?"
C: "Oh Oh Oh!!  I know the C word!!!!"
B: "I KNOW THE C WORD, TOO!!!!!!!!"

Me: "Oh hell no you don't!!!"

And both in unison yell, "CRAP!!!!"

Sigh.  What a relief!!!

:)

Handicap?

Pulling into the bowling alley the other day, Big asked me why I didn't park in the spot closest to the alley.

I said, "Because it's a handicapped spot, buddy.  We're not allowed to park there!"

Small said, "What does handicapped mean, mommy?"

I explained that it was when people have a harder time doing something because of some disability they might have, like losing a leg or their arm not working properly or maybe they arey are in a wheelchair.

Small thought for a moment and said, "Oh, you mean like my carseat is a handicap???  Because when I'm strapped in there, I can't do ANYTHING!!!!"


Hahaha!  He rocks!

And so it begins....

Big:  "Mommy, <Super cute blondie> keeps telling me that she loves me and wants to marry me!"

Me: "Oh yeah??  What do you tell her?"

Big: "I say, "I DON'T LOVE YOU AND I'M NOT MARRYING YOU!!!"

Me:  "Hmm, how do you think that makes her feel?"

Big: "I DON'T CARE!!  She's mean to me!"

Me: "How is she mean to you?"

Big: "She makes burping and farting noises whenever she's around me!"

Me (trying really hard not to laugh at this point): "Yeah, that would be annoying.  She's probably doing it because she wants your attention.  Maybe you could ask her to play a game with you or something next time?"

Big: "NO WAY!!  Then she'll think I like her!"

Me: "Well, maybe you'd have fun playing soccer with her.  You never know if you don't give her a chance!   Next time she tells you she loves you, you know what you should say?"

Big: "Go away??"

Me: "No.  You say "Thank you!" because its actually a really sweet thing for someone to tell you.  You don't have to play with her if you don't want to but you need to at least be polite."

Big: "Do I have to marry her, too??  I thought I was going to marry you, mommy?"

Me: "Well, I'm already married so I'm out.  But, no.  Being nice to her doesn't mean you have to marry her.  It just shows her she's smart for choosing kind boys that treat her nicely.  You should try being flattered that she likes you!"

Big: "Oh, man!!  But she's a GIIIIIIRL!!!!"

Me: "Yeah, but she's a person first and we treat all people nicely.  Especially people that think we're worth loving :)"

Big: "Ok, mommy!  I'll try...BUT I'M NOT MARRYING HER!!!"

Me: "Deal!!"

And so it begins.....